It’s surprising to me that this is the first time in like 2 years that I’ll be celebrating Valentines Day on my own. It was probably one of the occasions that I hyped up the most – spending countless weeks planning getaways and date night ideas with my other half, splurging cash on gifts, a new lingerie set and the perfect LBD to mark the occasion. It pains me to think about how much coins I could have saved over this period! Kudos to all the brands and companies raking in substantial amounts of cash flow through their relentless marketing efforts.
As the beginning of February ticks down to the 14th, I find myself surrounded by couples who hold the day in high esteem as well as singles who share their hate for the holiday of love. I mean, each to their own but I neither love or despise V-Day. In the past, I’ve shared Valentines Lookbooks, tips, etc on how to mark this occasion with a significant other and I truly enjoyed it. Rather than being a Debbie Downer in my first year of singleness (in a very long time!), I’ve decided to share 3 things I’ve learnt about Valentines Day as a single bee.
Here’s what I learned:
Valentine’s Day is NOT just about romance. Appreciate your loved ones and extend love to those who need it. I don’t believe that love should only be celebrated on one day of the year or for the celebration of love to be limited to romantic love. Platonic love and the love we express to our friends and families are equally as important and worthy to be celebrated, just as much as romantic love. We learn to genuinely appreciate love for what it is rather than a force filled day that reaks of consumerism.
Self-sufficiency. I’m proud of the independent life that I’m continuously trying to create for myself. Being single for up to a year now has really enlightened me and allowed me to take pride in the person that God has created me to be – which means not needing a relationship to rescue me from the fear of loneliness and isolation. Instead, I’ve learnt to enjoy my own company, to treat myself occasionally on spontaneous dates and spoiling myself way more than I should be, hehe. This all stems from the moment you feel secure in yourself and are able to turn your love inwards too.
Social media can impact one’s emotional well-being – only if you allow it to.
Romantic posts and Instagram photos pretty much circulate social media on the calendar’s most romantic day, with the potential to heighten the feeling of loneliness and possibly jealousy. Even when I celebrated Valentines Day in my previous relationships, I always found myself in a state of comparison – comparing other people’s experiences and material possessions to mine. It can be a really difficult emotion to deal with and can make you feel that people are rubbing their happiness in your face. If Valentines Day erupts those emotions in you then the best thing to do is to suspend all social media activity for the day. Close it down and just walk away. Also, remember that not everything portrayed on social media represents a perfect relationship. There are matters people battle with behind closed doors so enjoy your season of singleness, nurture yourself and just do you!
“You have to be a happy you before you can create a happy ‘two’ “